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Archive for December, 2008

Darn. I Just Cut My Hair

Last Tuesday, I cut my hair which had fallen midway down my back, to just beneath my collarbone.  I also decided on bangs.  If I were anyone else, it would have been a big change.  But I’ve had all sorts of haircuts before (from pixie boy hair with little curly spikes, to tightly curled perms, to simple down-my-back layers).

However, tonight, I went to dinner with one of my best friends from college.  She has incredibly long hair.  It goes well past her elbows and curls awesomely.  She has also always been fabulous at styling all that hair.  She’s one of those people who actually have the desire and PATIENCE to fix her hair.  When I had long hair, it always went up in a pony tail or a messy bun.  But she also had a secret weapon that I have tried countless times, but has never worked for me.  It’s the lowest maintenance Updo a girl could do.  See her Youtube video which I’ve posted behind the cut (click on link).

Seeing that video again, when I used to see it all the time when we would grab lunch in college made me wish I hadn’t cut my hair just yet.  Darn.

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I just watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  It was a superbly done film, and I really enjoyed it.  One thing I kept thinking throughout the movie was…how lonely his life must have been.  He went through life backwards.  He spent his childhood with old people, and I think he never really felt at home with any other kind of people.  Not that I’m about to go into a sad lament about his existence, but I think that his writing of postcards to Daisy, and later to his daughter Caroline, just made his life a lot less lonely.

Everyone just needs someone, I think.

I think everyone just needs to feel like their life matters to someone.  Everyone has a story to tell and I think it’s less lonely knowing that someone cares enough to want to listen to your story.  I think that the postcards and the diary just helped Benjamin’s life be less lonely, to know that to Daisy, he mattered–and later to Caroline, he would matter.

Despite the fact that the running theme of the movie was “Nothing ever lasts,” there was an underlying theme that at least ONE thing doesn’t end.  Yes, it is slightly cheesy if you think of it in a real-world context.  Love never ends.  I’ve been a lifelong romantic and I really wish that were true.  But like many things, it takes two.  I think that both people have to believe that the love doesn’t end for it to really be kept alive.

Anyway, just wanted to spit into words some of the emotions and thoughts the movie evoked.  I really, really loved the movie.  It’s a very unique glimpse into life, love and loss.  There is always loss in the movie (again, the theme is about letting go).  The most poignant is when letting go isn’t a choice, but a reality that must occur.  In the movie it was mainly death, but also that Benjamin walked away from Daisy and Caroline because it was what was best for them.

Sigh.

Love. Life. Loneliness. Loss.  Stupid L-words.

I think the movie dealt with it as gracefully as they can be dealt with.  I’m also very glad that they maintained the air of romanticism — otherwise, I would have been a very sad, depressed person.

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Learning Chess Part I: Anastasia’s Mate

So, BF is really into chess, and I’m learning the strategies so I can play with him on rainy afternoons (or whenever else, I suppose a chess match might be appropriate). I figure, it’s not really gonna hurt me to learn.  It’s one of those things that people will always nod and say, “Aaah…” and look at you a little more intelligently for during those after-dinner (or before, or during dinner for that matter) conversations.

So, I bought a new book:

My Brand-Spankin New Chess Book

My Brand-Spankin' New Chess Book

So far, it’s just right up my alley.  I looked at a bunch of other books at Borders, and trust me, those get pretty daunting.  It’s like reading algebra and pretending they make sense after looking at a single line of E2+ or Kxg4 or whatnot.  Maybe Bobby Fischer can decode it after a glance.  And the BF.  And anyone else who adores the game.  But for someone like me…someone who is finding a footing of adoration for the game, it’s best not to slap me with algebraic-like equations that run from cover to cover.  It’s almost like asking a three-year-old to read something that Thucydides wrote.

But this book…well, let me just tell you…it’s not just for kids.  Each “mating” motif is carefully and simply explained.  And there’s lots and lots of pictures to accompany the algebraic-like equations that they have used to describe the step-by-step process. Furthermore, it teaches beginners to spot certain patterns and work on their pattern-recognizing abilities.

So, far…I’ve learned 1 out of the 50 in the book.  Hey…I’m on Christmas vacation.  Give me a break.

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he said, she said

Sometimes, a guy and a girl sees the same thing and sees completely different things.

Case in point:

Hello, Sexy Elf Shoes

Hello, Sexy Elf Shoes

Me: OMG! These are so sexy.

BF: *nods* then *smiles*

Me: *hugs shoes and does not let them go…admires them and sighs lovingly*  Aren’t they the hottest shoes ever?!?!

BF: You’re serious?

Me: Yeah…why…aren’t they?

BF: They look like elf-shoes.  DRESSY elf shoes.  If an elf were to go to prom…those would be the shoes.

REALLY?  Really!?!?!

Oh, well…he said, she said.

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urgh.

urgh.

Squirchh…

Yeah, today’s one of those days. You know, those slow days when time seems to crawl just so that you have to focus on your problems? Urgh. Thinking of those problems–from rent and bills to broken laptops–just seems to make your stomach produce just a little more of whatever gastric acids it produces. Sometimes, if you’re really quiet and really still, you can actually feel the squirchh somewhere in the vicinity of the belly.

Sigh.

And that’s all you can really do about it. At least, that’s all I can do about it.

Wait a minute. I can always cry about it, too. Luckily, I’m too lazy at this point to cry. It takes so much effort. Sighing is just so much easier. It’s just a heavier exhalation of the breath.

Breathe in. Keep breathing in, then release. Siiiiiiiigh.

It occasionally quiets that belly noise that isn’t hunger.

But only for a little while.

I wish time would move faster and I didn’t have to dwell on my issues.

Move time…tick that tock. I can’t keep feeling like this. It’s gotta be bad for my health if I can hear my stomach squeezing gastric acids around.

And that would just be one more thing to worry about.

Squirchh… sigh.

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…of Love and Being Loved…

Who was it? George Sand? She who said, “There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved.”

I’m going to write something kind of sad. But hopefully there are only a few sad notes throughout. I think every time I start something new (like a new blog!) I always turn back to those pivotal moments in my life and check back in. So, bear with the tide of sadness. Hopefully, tomorrow is a brighter day.

When I was a kid, I used to believe in Love. Yep. Love – capital L and all.

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The Human Doodle

The Human Doodle.

My brother used to call me God’s doodle.  He said that God wasn’t really paying attention when He made me…I was just a doodle.

I used to pout and call for my mom when he said that.

Now, it’s a nickname.  It represents the klutziness, the irreverence, and occasional wit that comes out of me.  Mostly klutziness, though.  I don’t mind being somewhat of a dork, as long as I’m still loved.

Welcome to my Blog.

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