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Archive for April 10th, 2009

I really hate the way my heart leaps into my throat every time I hear that One Beep.

My phone is often set on “one beep” mode, and I have become very adept at picking up on that single little beep to tell me there is an incoming call.  I often prefer that one beep to silencing my phone whenever I have to keep the noise down.

What’s bad is…nobody gets a special beep. So I never really know who is calling when I hear that One Beep.

And my traitorous heart just leaps every time it does.  I still keep expecting it to be Him.  Why? I shouldn’t.  I still expect Him to call and tell me about His day, or to ask about my plans.  I still want to hear his voice.  I still want a line of communication between us…one where I can somehow still say, “I miss you.  Oh god, I miss you.”

But really, it’s just a silly beep.  Probabilities are, it’s my mom calling to check in on me, or some random auto warranty sales pitch.

It’s never going to be Him.

& I miss it. So very much.

Just One Beep.

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