Internalizing

I have so much on my mind right now I can’t even begin to sort through them. It’s just all these thoughts and emotions, and attempts at putting them into coherent thought is just impossible.

Or scary.

I just don’t really want to know what’s going on with me just yet. I think it’d be scary to know myself right now.

So I’m internalizing…and maybe getting stomach problems and sleeping issues. 

I’ll live for now, though. I’ll keep internalizing until I get the courage or find it necessary to purge.

So no New Year’s Resolutions (it’s all part of the jumbled up mess in my head and heart) and no reflections on 2009 (because last year was just too painful to really put together right now, hell even college football was painful).

But Happy New Year…and I really, really, really hope 2010 is a happier year for me and for everyone that I love.