Archive for February, 2010

Taxes FTW!

Okay, maybe not FTW so much. But I finished my taxes and I managed to get the $1,200 I owed in taxes (no thanks to my summer job) down to $81 with all the itemized deductions.


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My brother turned to me and whispered, “I wonder how I would be different if he had been alive.”

We looked down in silence, our thoughts heavy. Memories flooding. My brother runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “I don’t remember a lot anymore,” he admits.  I could only nod. Every year, memories fade. Sometimes, I don’t know what’s real anymore.


 His death changed the course of our lives so drastically, it would be an understatement to say that we would have simply been different.

  • my family moved to an entirely new country
  • my brothers and I learned family secrets so deep and shocking it changed our very identities
  • religion was redefined and faith lost
  • i even changed my name

In a couple of years, I would have lived a larger part of my life without a father. I wish I knew how having a father defines someone. Maybe then, I could figure out who I could have been.

I can only imagine the life I would have had. My father would have made it to General, maybe gotten a couple of stars. He had been a Colonel when he’d died. I’m pretty sure my brothers and I would have gone all over the world scuba diving, rock climbing, and survival training.  My father had a somewhat reckless spirit of adventure.  I probably inherited a small measure of it, except for the part where he loved jumping out of planes. My brothers would have joined the military and the air force. I would have married some nice Chinese or mestizo boy from a nice family. Haha. My boyfriends would have been terrified of him. He used to wear a gun on his hip all the time. I would probably have amazing posture, too. My dad always sat, stood and walked with a ramrod spine. He used to always pull back my shoulders whenever he passed by me hunched over a book. We would still be black belts. My father was my first martial arts teacher. I think we would have still grown up well.

I looked over at my brother, “It doesn’t matter now.”

Because we are who we are now, and I think we are good people. At least I think I have awesome brothers, anyway.

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she said I bet you don’t remember me,
and I said, only every other memory

made me go “aw” and appreciate country music all the more.

Looking forward to Line Dancing with my girls.

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Are you kidding me, Burton? These are the Olympics, not the county fair.  I get that snowboarding has “street” roots and that most gear tend towards the baggy streetwear. But still. the Olympics. Couldn’t we leave the street wear for something like this and go for a little more class?

US Snowboarding Team Olympic Uniform

 What do you guys think?

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When people can walk away from you, let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The bible said that, they came out from us; that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay. Let them go.

Please, let go.

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That is the question.

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Okay, not really a morbid post. haha. This was one of my favorite songs a while back. And when one of my friends posted a Z-Trip mix on FB, it reminded me of this awesome mash. Z-Trip was pretty big in NorCal for a while back in high school/college. I’d almost forgotten his awesome mash-ups.

And Chester Bennington’s voice has always been pretty unique and unforgettable anyway.


The Walking Dead by Chester Bennington and DJ Z-Trip

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