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50 of Each in Under 30

50 of Each in Under 30

I have been a member of the UFC Gym for over a year now. It’s a love-hate relationship.

One of my favorite (sort of) classes is called DUT: Daily Ultimate Training. It’s essentially described as this on the website:

Daily Ultimate Training is a functional strength and conditioning program. DUT combines every aspect of resistance training, body awareness drills and cardio respiratory endurance. Each class is different, competitive and will improve your overall athletic ability.

Essentially, it’s a conditioning class. Sometimes we work with resistance bands. Sometimes it’s drills throughout the gym. Sometimes we’re climbing monkey bars. Sometimes it’s kettlebells and dumbbells. Sometimes, it’s just resistance from working with your own body weight.

Each time, it’s a kick-ass work out.

Last night’s class was the Fabulous Fifty–or as I liked to called it, the Filthy Fifty. Essentially everything that is listed on the board up there…we had to do each fifty times.

FIFTY.

You don’t realize how many fifty reps is until you’ve done 35 and you’re like, oh…shit…I can’t…any…more…

The worst/best part is, you are timed throughout the whole ordeal. Everyone’s like, “Yo, man, what’s your time?” And I’m like, “Yo, dude, I didn’t die.”

But I do really appreciate classes like DUT. It’s really almost impossible to be bored when you’re fighting against your own will to keep going. And no, I won’t call it the Fabulous Fifty. For me, it’s always gonna be a filthy, gritty work out because let’s face it, I’m just not that girl. I wish I was naturally skinny, but it ain’t happening. So I need DUT.

And yeah, it’s good for me.

Sweat with No Regret

Sweat with No Regret

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A few days ago, I remembered that I had put my Life List on this website.

And I had the great opportunity of crossing a couple of things off that list. So, I decided to go ahead and Blog about those few things. First things first: Passing the Bar!!!

Yessss!

Finally.

Five days before Bar Results were released, my family got a terrible phone call from the Philippines. One of my mother’s sisters had fallen into a coma. It happened so suddenly: she complained of a headache, and within 2 hours of that statement she was non-responsive.

I felt the added pressure of passing the bar because my mother was already super stressed out with the news of her sister. I couldn’t fail now. If I did, it would break my mom into pieces. I didn’t care so much for myself as I did for her state of mind. I never once brought up that in a few days, the direction of my life for the next six months was going to be decided.

Add to that the fact that my father’s sister and her family was also scheduled to visit us for four days. There was even less time to worry about bar results. I ended up playing to guide for them, driving them through Yosemite for two days, hitting Stanford and shopping, and a day in San Francisco. All that while, I kept my smile and all my churning concerns to myself.

The day of the Bar Results was the day I took my aunt, uncle and cousin to Stanford. We walked through the picturesque campus (yes, it’s killing me to say that, but it’s unfortunately true) keeping up a cheerful chatter the whole day. CCop checked in on me the whole day, and there was a steady stream of well-wishers buzzed through my phone all day. Once, when CCop asked me how I was feeling, I sent him this picture of the Burghers of Calais.

LoL! Yeah, I really did feel the way they looked.

As 6 pm drew closer and closer, I got quieter and quieter. Luckily an old family friend had come to meet up with us and she could talk a mile a minute.

After walking around Stanford, we decided to go shopping. However, it was closing in on 6pm. Instead of telling my visiting relatives that I was going to look at my bar results, I told them I had to write an important email. So, off they went and I stayed behind in the car.

When 6pm hit, I went online (thank you HTC Evo and Sprint everything data plan!) typed in my file number and application numbers, and held my breath.

My file number matched. My application number matched. My full name appeared (yes, all four of them). And finally this statement below it:

The name above appears on the pass list for the February 2011 California Bar Examination.

I felt a slight light-headedness. I HAD to check again. and again. It took a while to sink in…but…

I PASSED.

Thank God.

One less thing to worry about. One less thing to stress over. Six months of my life taken back into my control. And that, of course…gets crossed off my life list.

whew.

And so, the next day when we went to San Francisco, I had the pleasure of being able to share good news with my family at what my brother’s gf ALin called my “Smarty Pants” dinner (See my shirt).

 

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My job is boring me to death.

Okay, granted my job isn’t exactly boring per se because I get to go somewhere new and basically just talk to people all day. It’s not the kind of job that requires any kind of genius from me.

On the other hand, it doesn’t require any kind of genius from me.

At first, I was relieved to work somewhere where I couldn’t screw up anyone’s life. After working at the courts and at a law firm, it never failed to appall me that people were putting their lives, livelihoods, futures, and general welfare in my hands. In my absolutely-clueless-this-is-gonna-cost-you-about-a-million-bucks hands.

I was stressed out, yes.

I was on edge, yes.

I was often aggravated, absolutely.

I was frustrated to tears, no doubt.

But at least, it made what I was doing matter.

And maybe that’s what I need. I am absolutely unmotivated with work right now. As absolutely awesome as my company is, I feel like the mere minion that my boss lovingly nicknamed me. I want to be a minion that matters, dammit!

I mean, right now, I ought to really be looking at all our sales reports and drafting/suggesting marketing strategies and even putting together product enhancements. But I cannot bear to download the files. The most that I could make myself do was put a “star” on the email to remind me to do this. Eventually.

I just can’t care.

I need to get out before I settle for this. I know. Come May 13…I will…uh…

Sigh, it’s the same reason as before. If I pass the bar, then maybe I can get my life together. But if I don’t. I might just shoot myself. In the foot. Or something. I don’t know.

I just know that I need more.

This is a good thing, right? I always thought I didn’t want to be a lawyer because I didn’t want to be responsible for destroying someone’s life. I mean, I still don’t. But I’d wanna be responsible for preventing the destruction of someone’s life. Which, I now realize has always been the flip-side of that fear. So, I’d rather be afraid/frustrated/be on tenterhooks/and matter than be carefree and bored and meaningless.

Now that I know what I want…I guess I need to figure out how to get there. But it’s a start.

/End Rant.

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Ball is Rolling

Wow. This week has been hectic. Next week will be worse. But in a good way.

Tomorrow I’m flying in-and-out of LA for a lunch interview.

Got 3 nights of training for one job, Orientation for another, and shenanigans of all kinds with another one.

I have a feeling that something’s gotta give…

But right now, I am generally just waiting and seeing. Nothing is yet set in stone.

Dun, dun, dun…

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Okay, okay…maybe not. I mean, I’m not a lawyer…yet.

But at least I’m making money again. And I’m busy again. And I’m feeling productive again.

There’s waitressing (yeah, don’t judge, you know it’s a noble profession *coughs*), tutoring (it’s rewarding, okay…), document reviewing, and researching/writing. So what if I have four bosses and I’m scheduled back-to-back-to-back?

I’m totally lovin’ it.

Like I told PMaster, I feel like my life has purpose again.

I love waking up in the morning feeling like I immediately have to get out of bed and work. I love that sense of direction and knowing what to do next. Yes, I’m going to miss waking up at 9 or 10, and even 11 on a few days, but nothing beats waking up and knowing that you’re getting something done today.

Love it.

Plus, I get free food from one job, interaction with kids at another, legal networking at another, and legal research at the other. Heck, I even get to wear a tie (and an apron). Once my schedule becomes much more settled and clearer, I’m also jonesing to start doing volunteer legal work at the SFBar Association. More networking, more of my foot (and hopefully a leg and an arm) in the door, and hopefully a job when (yes, when–i’m being optimistic here) I pass the bar.

Handsome H says he admires my moxie.

In reality, it was more of a near-fatal combination of boredom and the desperate need to do something more than stay at home all day.

Either way, I’m baaack in bidniz. Sort of.

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