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Trouble is…

If I’m not doing it, how can I expect you to do the same?

I could hope.

But then again, you could be hoping and I’m here knowing that it’s in vain.

I could be a fool.

But I don’t think I’m strong enough to be foolish.

I smell trouble. Worse, it’s a double standard on my part.

Evirrrr.

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The problem with keeping someone at a distance is that it makes communication really hard. It’s like you’re always yelling over this white noise of empty space. It creates an illusion of safety–like being wrapped in a bubble. But then it all becomes a game of who gains the upper hand. He said, she said, he says wha-?, she says huh?

Ain’t none of us gonna make that step closer to burst that bubble.

Definitely doesn’t help when I’m talking about more than one.

In the end, it’s a conundrum. To move forward and make plans, we gotta communicate. To communicate, we gotta make at the very least the tiniest bit of commitment. To commit, we gotta take a step closer. To get close, we gotta let it happen. To let it happen, we gotta want it.

Not sure that I want it, though. But I do want to make plans. But mostly, I just think I’m bored.

What a conundrum.

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